No Wonder Kids Throw Tantrums in Public - They Look at Millions of Buttholes All Day

Have you ever crouched down to the eye level of a toddler riding in a stroller? Try it sometime. We were at the Lincoln Park Zoo a few weeks ago, walking through the monkey house with my parents, and TJ was becoming a bit unruly, so I crouched down to his level to talk to him and supply some sustenance, only to make an alarming discovery.

To set the scene, the monkey house was packed - apparently spider monkeys and gorillas and chimpanzees draw quite an audience on a Saturday afternoon in Chicago, but as I looked around from T's eye level, literally all I could see were people's butts. Big butts, small butts, some as big as your head! Flat butts, mom-jean butts, bubble butts, butts that I'm sure were really wrinkly, and I guarantee there were some butts within my nose smelling radius that were farting at that very moment. Right in my and my kid's face.

No wonder kids throw tantrums in public places! When you stick them in their stroller, all they can see (and smell) are strangers bungholes! Why has no one thought of this yet?! Or maybe someone did, and that was the genesis of the "Sit and Stand" stroller concept.

Try as I might to "get into the mind of my one-year-old" this was a revelation to me. If all I could see were butts when I looked around I would be pissed enough to throw a tantrum in a public arena, too. Kudos to our kids for keeping it together for as long as they do in crowded public places.


When we visit DisneyWorld someday we will definitely NOT make our kids ride in a stroller - that place is elbows to assholes for the adults walking around, can you imagine what the kids in strollers endure?! I encourage you all to be sensitive to the rampant epidemic of buttstink in the world - for your kids sake. By the time you detect a smelly butt your kid-in-a-stroller has probably already been subjected to the stank for like 2 minutes, so my God people - run! Separate from the crowds! I mean seriously, how would you feel if you looked around and all you could see were BUTTS?!

I'm glad I could shed some light on this topic for you - Good luck out there, and may you remain pinkeye free.


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